Why I'm glad I was a Step-mum before a mum!
Being a step-mum has taught me so much.
It is truly hard to put into words how much being a step-mom has influenced me as a person and I will be forever grateful to my step son for teaching me to be a better person.
Yes, being a step-mum is difficult. Not only are you tangled into a relationship that is not always doing well itself, you are living with a child or children who have not asked to be put into this awkward position.
I truly believe being a step-mum makes you become a better person, a better partner, and strengthens your relationship. Sometimes the kids, the ex's, and all the circumstances make it hard, but guess what? Life throws some pretty good challenges at you, so dealing with this and rising above these challenges can show you just how strong your relationship may be.
Too many people get married and expect life to be the same perfect ride, to find out there are many curve balls to living a happy marriage.
Relationships require work. They require you to have discussions, learn boundaries, reflect on your actions and their repercussions on someone else's life.
Well having step-children has truly taught me that non-perfect situations are okay, that every individual see's things differently, and that's okay.
I have learned to have more compassion and empathy for people around me. I've learned that it's okay to have your partner do certain things even though they may not do it the same way, even if the outcome is not exactly what you were expecting.
In the end, what matters is the that your family respects each other, communicates, and that they are happy in your home.. not how many toys are laying around and what your partner said 2 days ago that pissed you off (LOL).
I truly adore my blended family, and I can honestly say I am now a better mother to my son because of my 3 year journey with my step-son. These moments like being there for his first day of kindergarten , or the countless days volunteering at his school in the past 3 years before covid are all moments I will cherish even more now that I realize that they will not happen again...
We sometimes take little things for granted and give too much importance to the little things that bother us. Being a step-mum has helped me take a step back and look at the bigger picture. It has showed me the strength of my partner as a parent, and has made me love him so much more.
Becoming a "mom" has opened my eyes to how precious these moments truly are.
I will forever be humbled by the experience of being a step-mom and grateful of what it has taught me.
If you are a step-mum, just know whatever you are doing, you are doing good. It may be hard at times, but take a step back and look at the bigger picture, speak with your partner, and soak in the moments.
If you are a mum, count your blessings as so many people would love to be a parent, would love to see their children every day and not say goodbye to them for 7 days at a time. You are doing great, the dishes don't matter, and just remember how much they love you no matter what.
Being happy is kind of like relationships, sometimes you have to work hard to get there. It takes dedication and intention.
So take a moment and simply be happy.
Little Mum Book